Randomness

It's 6something in the AM and I have a rare moment of nothing to do but sit and stare at the computer. I woke up from a horrible dream and pooped(Haha! So much for proof reading... that's too funny not to leave. But I popped) myself out of bed. I can sleep after church today. But right now, I am going to sit my behind down and jot down a much needed blog post.

"WHAT!?" I've noticed my hearing is changing... not going! But changing a tad. My mom started losing her hearing when she was twenty-five, which is when I started noticing it. Her tubes (?) fused together, and they say it's irreparable, but we now found out they can probably do surgery. Anyway, we were in the store and I wasn't wearing my glasses (I never do if I'm not driving) and I was squinting and trying to see what "those things are over there". My mom was walking behind my elbow and whispered...

"I'm tired and depressed."

GASP. What? how did I miss this... tired, yes, but depressed!? I stopped suddenly and looked at her...

"what did you say, mom?"

"I said, that's the tire and lube department."

We had a good laugh over this and then a more serious one about getting those darn ears checked!

NEW PUPPY I have put claims on a new girl puppy to be born the end of this year or early January. I am so excited! She is from the same 'parents' as my brother and sister-in-law's dog, Lola, so they will be sisters. Something special about that to me. I will be the one you see walking with my little dog in a stroller or have her all glammed out in cute clothes and bows...of course I may be broke and have to starve, but my puppy-girl will be beautifully decked out. ;)

WALLPAPER FUN I am in the process of removing blue-striped-wallpaper from my bedroom walls. It is hell! I am telling you! I dislike wallpaper and can't imagine why, oh why the previous owners of our home out it all over... okay, so it's really nice wallpaper... but who can live with blue stripes forever. NOT ME.

BAKING I love to cook and bake. It relaxes me and is comforting in some strange way. I made a cake for my boss' birthday. He loves German chocolate cake, I dislike it. Not to gross you out, but the fresh coconut in the frosting makes me think I'm eating little bugs, Andrew* Zimmer*man style. ugh.

I decided that if I was going to eat German chocolate cake I would make it fresh. Night before the birthday, I got lazy and bought German chocolate cake mix. BUT I did do the rest from scratch. It was so gooooooood! Yes, coconut bugs and all.

PRAYER On Wednesday night we had such an incredible service about prayer, intercessory prayer. More than ever it's been on the minds of our church body that prayer is the only thing that's going to get the job done. We fight today more than ever before. We have a world to reach with this incredible news of Jesus' saving grace and love. But we must pray. I'm not talking a little pray before you go to sleep, it's time to be in a committed prayer relationship with God. Be faithful... I have this little card on my desk at home (in front of me now) that says, 'God is only a prayer away'. I bought this when I was struggling with fear and felt like I had nowhere to turn... I saw this little 'sign' and taped right where I can see it as a reminder... He really is just a prayer away.

What a good God He is!

Happy First Day of the Week!

Ths is my 351st post... :)

~*~
Deb

Happy Birthday, Mama

Today is the most incredible person in the whole wide world's birthday. My mama. I can't tell you how wonderful she is. But I'll try... :)

Whenever anyone needs anything she figures out a way to help them get it. She is affectionately known as "Nana" to everyone in our church and family. She is stubborn yet sweet, courageous and a fighter. With everything that's been placed on her plate in the last few years, she is still is full of faith and loves her God more than anything. When people gasp at the fact that she has a brain tumor she smiles and says - "BUT, God saw fit to give me a very very rare one...", as if she was special. ha-ha. How can you not smile?

The greatest thing about my mom is when you hear her talk about her relationship with God. She can't help but get emotional when she talks about her encounters with Him and something new she's learned about Him. This is what makes her beautiful inside and out.

Happy Birthday to you, Mama. I love you.

My wonderful office lamp...

Or not...

I rarely am at my desk at home. I spend most of my time everywhere but in my room. Everything I do on the computer is usually done between 8:30-5, Monday through Friday.

My new desk is a flat simple piece. I actually like it. Dark oak on top and distressed cream wood on the bottom.

I really wanted this to complement the desk...

But ended up with something like this...

My mom loves to save everything that we grew up with. Old paintings and figurines are among the many things that are stored in the garage and sneak their way into the house.

I setup my new desk, sleek and nice next to my computer and one single framed photo of me and these two.

Back to the lamp... I came home one day and there sitting in the center, the center, was this antique glass lamp. The base and middle are a tarnished gold and the glass has leafy looking flowers. Not what this girl wanted.

I laughed and knew that my mom was not only trying to find a place to stash her goods but she was truly thinking that I really liked this lamp.

How could I not now? I've looked.. and looked and found one good thing about this lamp and that is it's light. It shines brighter than a lamp with a shade, subtle and warm. And... the best thing, it reminds me of someone who loves me and wants to share her "likes" with me.

Sappy? So what, it's true. Me and my lamp have become friends... not sure how long this friendship will last. We. Shall. See.

Philippians 4:11... for I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content (so says my desk and me)

Showers and Farms

Is this weekend really Mother's Day weekend? It came way to fast. I haven't prepared anything for my mom or the mothers in my life. I feel like time is slipping by so fast. Wouldn't it be nice to have a pause button on the clock of life. Maybe 5 uses out of a lifetime. I'd use one this year, for sure. I'm trying to think of an inexpensive gift for the Mom... any ideas?

::

I bought and printed my sister's Bridal Shower invitations last week. They cost too much but I couldn't pass them by. There's this store by the Newport bay that sells fine invitations for you to print or have printed. I chose the "have printed" since I don't pick my money off trees, which is what they must think the amount they charge.

Here is what I sent out.

The night after the shower will be the "Girls Night Out". Just the bride and bridesmaids. I am looking forward to this... Since it's just family (My sister, cousin, sister-in-law and unofficial someday-t0-be sister-in-law) we can get pretty crazy. Girls will be girls...

::

Among all the parties, are house is in a little bit of a disarray with my sister moving. She is selling things she's held onto for 30 some-odd years and packing her stuff up. One good thing... I get to keep clothes she can't fit into her suitcases. ;)

A little over two weeks and she'll be gone.

I've made plans for after she leaves to keep me pretty busy until the wedding in July.. hopefully they will work as a distraction...

::

I have an addiction. Seriously. It consist of farming. Pigs. Cows. Trees. Seeds. And other farmers. Oh boy.

I don't normally play games online, I would rather be reading or watching a movie, but this one has pulled me in. It's called Farm Town and can be found on Facebook. It's completely addicting.

You know your addicted when you experience the following...
#1 You wake up at night talking in your sleep about fields around you ready to harvest ( and no... this wasn't a spiritual dream lol).
#2 You're singing and worshiping in church, on the platform mind you, thinking about God and then you're reminded that you need to hire farmers to harvest your fields tomorrow... oh my.

Do you see why it's a problem?

My name is Deb and I'm a faux farmer.

Who Knew - Bubble Gum is the Enemy

As a kid, did you ever hear your mom say, "Don't get gum in your hair!" or "Stop snapping your gum!"? I heard this plenty of times... but those warning didn't stop the peanut butter from coming out to fix the fact that I had blown too big of a bubble and now gum was intertwined with the hair. Oh Vey.

I am not a gum chewer. I'd rather have mints. I love the taste of gum but it's too exhausting to chew. I got a little stash in my stocking for Christmas this year and there was a cute little roll of Hubba Bubba Bubble Tape with a little Santa on the front. Enticing.

I took it to work and decided to chew a little strip... mind you I was bored to tears since work has been slow. I chewed that little bit and decided that I needed more. So there I was, chewing on a big mound of Hubba Bubba gum. If someone had told me that I would have injured myself on gum, I would have smiled, maybe giggled, maybe even choked on the gum a little. But alas, there was no warning from mom ringing in my ears, "You'll hurt yourself chewing gum!". I will be the first to admit that I am a little bit accident prone.

It started with a little twinge... that turned into a BIG twinge. I somehow pulled or ripped or angered something in my jaw/neck area. It screamed at me and yelped in pain - all.night.long.

I babied it all day today, took some trusty Advil and prayed for myself - hoping that it won't cause me to have to see the dreaded doctor over something so silly. I can just hear that conversation:

Doctor: So what are you here for?

Me: I was chewing gum

Doctor: And?

Me: I angered something in my jaw. Maybe pulled a muscle?

Doctor: (silence... staring... thinking - "dumb girl.")

I've come to one conclusion in all this - GUM is the enemy!

Back Breaking

As I said in a previous post, I messed up my back sometime in the last couple of weeks and it's gotten progressively worse.

Going to the Chiropractor is no fun. I don't like people massaging me. It hurts. A deep tissue massage KILLS.

I felt pretty good as I laid down on the board/bed... whatever it is, and relaxed my body while my skirt was yanked down, slightly, and the little vibrating "thing" was placed on my lower back. I'm left alone for a few minutes and use this time to plead and beg God to not let it hurt.

The Doctor comes back in and begins to massage and shoot the breeze, chatting about his techniques and how I ripped my muscles around my spine... everything is going good and I feel like God really is going to numb me from the pain. Before I know it he's massaging my bum/hip and talking about an increase in taxes for California. My thoughts are, Hey, you're too close to my bum to talk about paying taxes.

Everything feels good minus the couple of sore spots that he feels need extra attention. I am focused on his shoes as my face is scrunched in the head rest. He decides to crack my back and hits down so hard that the bottom of my spine feels like it came out of my skin. I wanted to stand up and smack him in the face, "Hello, I have an injury, Buster!"

"What happened?" He asked after I screamed. I managed to yelp, "It hurts here", as I pat my back. He then wiggles my back to find out where the pain came from, no pain. Then he wants to crack again. I was too chicken to tell him not to, so I just smacked him in my head. He cracks it and everything is fine.

After he massaged my back and legs with a massive massager that makes you jiggle all over, he left so that I could gather myself.

I scoot off the bed/board and yelp, again. It's bad. Very bad. I whimper my way over to my purse and bend a few inches... I'm stuck. Here I am standing with my arms hanging down and my butt in the air.

He comes in looking concerned while I think, You better look concerned buddy, you broke my back!, "What is hurting?" he ask.

After a few back exercises I limp out to the lobby and thank God that my sweet mom came with me.

I pay, and wobble out to the car. My mom ask, "How are you feeling?". I whimper in response, "Ooooowweeee".

God's bigger than Brain Tumors!

What would we do without God? Where would we be? I feel sick just thinking about those that don't know Him. Not knowing Him, feeling Him is something that I never want to experience. How do people turn their back on this God who is faithful and loving? I can't imagine life without Him. In the good and the bad, He proves Himself faithful and true!

I have no doubts in God's ability to heal. I have no doubts in God's ability to provide. He's never failed me and I know He never will.

Right now, I am leaning on Him for strength and comfort. I am trusting, and sometimes begging, for His healing power. To be open, I sometimes find myself asking God why? Why my mom, she's been faithful in serving You and those around her. The only thing that keeps coming to mind is, why not her?

Yesterday my mom and I went to see a renown brain surgeon who used to be head of neurology at UCLA. He's performed thousands of surgeries on pituitary tumors. People from all over come to California to have him perform their surgeries. I was confident that he may have an answer for us, something different and not so grim.

We waited in the John Wayne Cancer Institute, funny thing that it was called John Wayne since everyone close to me knows that I have this quirky thing with John Wayne, "John Wayne says..." "John Wayne is...". The nurse came and showed us to a room and we waited... and waited... I took some pictures of myself in the big metal light, trying to make the time go by a little quicker.

A doctor that works with the surgeon came in, he looked like Henry Mitchell from Dennis the Mennis. Nerdy and young. His first remark once introductions were made was, "This tumor is very bad and nasty." Oy. He told us that it was risky to remove but there was no other way. Other pituitary tumors could be treated with medicine, but this one could only be treated with surgery. The shots that she takes three times a day were only holding the tumor at bay. Keeping it from growing and feeding itself. The only way to treat this would be to have fifteen sessions of radiation, then surgery that would remove 80 - 90% of the tumor and then radiation again. I was not thrilled when he left to get the surgeon. I felt scared, angry and helpless, on the verge of tears, but I had to hold it together for my mom who was just bummed. She grinned and joked with the doctor the whole time and giggled when he checked her nerves for any damage. You would think I was the one with the tumor and not her.

Once the surgeon came in he brought a photocopy of her MRI, I had yet to see the tumor. He pointed out things that we already knew, size of a golf ball with fingers going into her blood vessels and arteries, wrapped around her main artery and attached to her pituitary. What a mess.

My mom will be making a decision in the next few days. I catch myself thinking the worse and then remember that what the doctors and surgeons say is NOT final.

I feel strongly that God will heal her. I believe He's setting it up and He's just asking us to trust Him. Or I might say, asking me to trust Him! lol. I can never take for granted the peace of God. I am blown away when He shows up and there's a genuine smile on my face and the faces of my family. We trust Him. Completely and with our whole hearts!

I believe with everything in me that He will work a miracle in our midst. The Lord is my light and salvation. Whom (or what) shall I fear?