Summer Shoe Pledge
Please raise your big toes and repeat after me:
- As a member of the Cute Girl Sisterhood (whatever that is...), I pledge to follow the rules when I wear sandals and other open-toe shoes.
- I promise to always wear sandals that fit. My toes will not hang over and touch the ground, nor will my heels spill over the backs. And the sides and tops of my feet will not pudge out between the straps.
- I will go polish-free or vow to keep the polish fresh, intact and chip-free. I will not cheat and just touch up my big toe.
- I will sand down any mounds of skin before they turn hard and yellow.
- I will shave the hairs off my big toe.
- I won't wear pantyhose even if my misinformed girlfriend, coworker, mother, sister tells me the toe seam really will stay under my toes if I tuck it the real good.
- If a strap breaks, I won't duct-tape, pin, glue or tuck it back into place hoping it will stay put. I will get my shoe fixed or toss it.
- I will not live in corn denial, rather I will lean on my good friend Dr. Scholls if my feet need him.
- I will resist the urge to buy jelly shoes at Payless for the low, low price of $4.99 even if my feet are small enough to fit into the kids' sizes. This is out of concern for my safety, and the safety of others. No one can walk properly when standing in a pool of sweat and I would hate to take someone down with me as I fall and break my ankle.
- I will take my toe ring off toward the end of the day if my toes swell and begin to look like Vienna sausages.
- I will be brutally honest with my girlfriend/sister/coworker when she asks me if her feet are too ugly to wear sandals. Someone has to tell her that her toes are as long as my fingers and no sandal makes creepy feet look good.
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I have a friend that has a serious foot phobia. Don't touch her with your feet, don't speak about the gross disgusting body part.. called the foot.
I found this picture while looking for a sandal photo. Let me warn you, it made my stomach roll. If you are someone that has issues with feet, don't look... just pass by. My family has really nice feet, not bony and cute, do people really have feet like this? (where's the pinky toe? lol)
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6 comments:
ROFL!! Oh, man, Deb...that was a snorter. I'm glad I wasn't drinking anything just now, lol.
That is AWESOME, and sooo, soooo true! And that last picture...oy! (It looks like some grandma let her grandkids at her feet, and then humored them by taking a picture of her feet all dolled up, lol.)
My grandma would have let us "make her beautiful" by painting her fingernails and allowing us to take pictures of her hands, but she was very self conscious about her feet...she had 'webbed' toes. Though I tried, I never did get a look at them splayed out, lol. Thank GOD I didn't inherit that gene, lol.
*cringing*
I'll admit that I should be a little more faithful with the file and foot cream, but that's just freaky looking.
(I just re-read that sentence and realized I used an abundance of 'f' words.*sigh*)
Becky - Hahahaha!!! Ohhhh those toes made me sick, hairy and skinny.
Shauna - I am right there with ya! I am so bad about taking care of my feet... I confess right now my french tip on three of my toes is chipped... so much for taking a pledge! lol
I've signed my pledge. Now where do I get those shoes??????
That picture is totally freaking me out!
I'm good with the pledge except for the polish part. I'm forever touching up the big toe. lol
uh.... i'm pretty sure those are MEN feet.... hahahhahahha
either that or that woman is taking some seriously strong hormones to grow hair like that!!!!!!
LOL!!!!!!!!!!!
oh man... Becky you are right... ROFL!!!!!
cat
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