Monday, September 28, 2009


Have you ever had a moment where you stopped in the middle of your busy life and asked, "What am I doing?"?

Purpose. That word has been on my mind for the past few weeks. I feel like I am on a road that leads nowhere. Who am I and how did I get here? Questions have a way of drawing more questions and there are no answers in sight.

If you have no purpose than you have nothing pushing you forward. No goal. I am a firm believer in the fact that God ordains each and every step and avenue in life. For each and every person. Whether they know Him or not. Ultimately His purpose must be fulfilled. He will use anyone or anything to get it done.

Going back to "what am I doing?", I seem to be asking myself that a lot lately. If I'm not working towards God's purpose, what the heck am I doing here? Why am I wasting my time? Serious self examination. Painful, scary and so gut wrenching.

I spent some alone time reading through my notes from the last few services and cried my heart out asking God to take me as I am. ALL my faults and failures, every sin and struggle. Take me as I am and change me so that I can be used for His purpose. Use my weakness for His purpose to strengthen me instead of getting the best of me.

Don't you get tired of doing the same thing, day in and day out with no eternal growth to show for it? I sure do.

I am determined to work towards figuring out God's purpose for ME. And then I am going to do whatever it takes to get THERE. THERE is where He wants me to be and I am the only one that can stop it. Me, myself and I. No one else to blame.

Purpose is the name of game... Do you know what your purpose is?

1 comment:

Becky said...

Great post, Deb...and so very true.

I can remember a couple of very significant turning points in my own life...seasons where I felt 'dead ended' by different circumstances, but cried out to God in complete surrender...and it was the beginning of some lifechanging and yet WONDERFUL things that began to happen in my life.

Those experiences are 'Ebenezers' which I go back to in times where I get 'off balance' and am reminded and encouraged greatly to see clearly how the Lord has been guiding my steps.

Those were all occasions where I yielded fully put my whole focus back where it should be, in sync with HIS will for me, His strength giving me what I needed to keep externals from getting in the way. In many respects, they were my own, personal revivals...and the Lord has never ceased to amaze me in what He has accomplished in my life.

One of the big ones involved my decision to leave home after graduation and move to Minnesota...another involved starting Bible college...another involved surrendering my own will in trying to find Mr. Right on my own (and failing horribly at it, lol)...and it wasn't long after I did that then Jeff came into my life (by God's design). We've had other similar experiences as a married couple, too, pertaining to ministry opportunities and such. God has been SOOOO good to us!

God's word promises that when we seek we will find, and that if we Trust in the Lord with all our hearts leaning not on our own understanding, acknowledging the Lord in all our ways...He's gonna make our path straight.

No better place to be than at the center of God's will, that's for sure. I sense that with your willing heart, the Lord has BIG THINGS in store for this new 'season' of your life! Buckle's going to be a wild ride. ;)